Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Nathan! ♥♥♥ I can only imagine how wonderful it is celebrating your 1st Christmas and Jesus' birthday with your PawPaw, uncles, cousin and other family members in Heaven. (Nathan's Christmas Tree was written in the sand by CarlyMarie on Christian's Beach at Mullaloo Point in Western Australia. http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com)

Still Here

I realize it's been awhile since I posted so I wanted to post an update to let you know that I'm still here. Originally, when we started YAMC... the goal was to have the first memory box donations ready for delivery on Nathan's due date. Since Nathan is my first loss, I had NO clue how difficult the day would be.

I'm taking a step back so that I can collect myself and get to a place where I'm okay with doing this project. In order to allow this project to reach its full potential and goal of helping other families... I must first take care of myself. I'm still collecting donations and items (the handmade cards actually came in the mail last week)... I'm just postponing the first donation until after the new year.

I want to thank everyone for all of the support and love that has been given to us over the last five months. It's bittersweet to think that Nathan should be in my arms right now. However, when I see the future for YAMC... I can't imagine a better way for his life has such meaning and purpose. Please continue to keep us in prayer as we navigate into a new year without our precious boy. I wish nothing but love, peace and health for your family in 2012.

Nathan's Stocking

I've been looking for a way to include Nathan at Christmas. It's important for me to not leave him out. However, I don't want to make a big fuss that will make most people uncomfortable. I came across the idea of the Stocking/Random Acts of Kindness on Melissa's blog, Chasing our Rainbow. I love it! It's a perfect idea, I think. It's subtle yet offers such an impact. It is a perfect way to begin a new Christmas tradition that includes Nathan. I love that it isn't just about Nathan and our family... but also impacts the lives of others. In the words of my husband, "Helping people is always a good thing." I hope that you will take a moment to include our little boy, Nathan in your holiday celebrations this month... either by participating in Nathan's Stocking or simply saying a prayer for us as we try to celebrate the Christmas season without him.

Dear Family & Friends,

First, let me thank you all for your love, support and prayers over the last four months. Thank you for sharing in the excitement of our second pregnancy and in the sorrow of our loss.

As the holidays are approaching, we are excited to spend time with family and friends. Cameron is at such a fun age and we are excited for him. However, we still feel the need to remember our son, Nathan, this Christmas. Nathan was due in December so Christmas will be a bittersweet day for us. It is one of our favorite times of year and we have been searching for a way to keep it that way, even in the midst of our pain. I found this wonderful idea from another mom, whose daughter and son are in Heaven, and was really inspired to do the same thing she did the first Christmas after the loss of her daughter.

We're having a stocking made, with Nathan's name on it, to place beside the rest of our family stockings, but really don't want to see it hang empty, so we have decided to enlist all of you to help us. All that we ask is that sometime between now and Christmas, do something nice for someone, no matter how small or large. It doesn't have to involve money - just commit a random act of kindness. When you do it, think of Nathan and dedicate that act him. You can even leave a note saying, “This random act of kindness was done in memory of Nathan" but you don’t have to.

Please write down your act of kindness and send it to us and put “Nathan’s Stocking” in the subject line or slip a note into your Christmas cards to us. I won't read it. I will print out the emails and put them in his stocking. Then, on Christmas morning, we will open up all the notes and read them.

Feel free to share this request with your other friends and family... share it on your Facebook page. Even if only a few of you do this, we will have a really beautiful thing to share on Christmas in our sweet baby's memory and someone else (the recipient of your kindness) will benefit by a true example of the spirit of Christmas. I will pray that all of us will be struck by inspiration, that something will come to each of us, some kindness that we can share of ourselves, in Nathan’s name and in his memory, to benefit someone else. For idea’s and inspiration for random acts of kindness, visit one of the following websites...

http://blessedbycreativejoy.blogspot.com/2010/01/reading-shyla.html

http://amazingmikaylagrace.blogspot.com/2010/12/mikaylas-stocking.html

http://www.missfoundation.org/kindness/ideas.html

http://ticklestogiggles.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-birthday-was-awesome.html

http://tsjphotography.com/blog/random-acts-of-christmas-kindness-summary/

Thank you so much for your participation and your continued love and support,

The Stephens Family

How to Survive

I came across this on one of my support boards and wanted to share. I think we can all understand and gain something from reading this... even if it's only one or two sections that really "hit home". I don't know where it originated from so if someone knows, please let me know so I can provide credit and/or a link back to the writer.

1. Survive One Hour at a Time

I distinctly remember being given sound advice from my younger sister, Debbie, who is a nurse practitioner and has worked with terminally ill cancer patients that were children. She told me to get through one hour at a time. As the first day wore on, I recall realizing that I somehow managed to cope with just one hour at a time, because time needed to be experienced through smaller increments, whereas it seemed unbearably impossible to try to go on living without my son for weeks, months or years at a time. As each hour passed, I began to feel comforted that I had survived one hour without going completely mad.

Each hour, I began to realize that I could actually go to the bathroom alone, refill my own coffee cup, eat a few bites of food placed before me, and even walk through one room of my house without falling apart. The pain that succumbs you is so overwhelming that everything that has to do with survival has to be broken down into tiny, manageable increments. Before you know it, a whole day has gone by and you have managed to survive.

2. Survive One Day at a Time

Begin to live one day at a time, accepting the loving comfort that family and friends are so willing to give, but know that some down time of quiet solitude is also important.

In the next few days I began to realize that although my family and friends had wonderful, sincere intentions, I had to allow myself just a few quiet moments alone to collect my thoughts and to just fall to pieces. Most people couldn’t bear to watch me fall apart, and ultimately, in hindsight, that’s exactly what I needed to do. What most people don’t understand is that to hold in such an exorbitant amount of pain is actually detrimental to a person’s physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. At the time, I felt as though my heart had been completely crushed, ripped out, shredded, and then somehow put back into my body as a hardened lump of clay. The sensation in my chest was as though I had a cement block weighing down on it all times. This coupled with intense headaches due to lack of sleep and rest made me feel like a walking zombie. But at the end of each day I’d somehow managed to drift off into sleep, and the next day would come, even if I didn’t necessarily welcome it.

3. Take Care of Yourself

Remember to eat, try to get enough rest, and keep all things that are harmful to you (such as alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and too much stimuli) at a minimum.

Again, although my family and friends had good intentions, perhaps a few moments of complete quiet would have helped rejuvenate my spirit. It’s not to say that I should have been left alone, because I probably was too unstable to be left alone, but at least I should have tried to rest more. I also should have forced myself to eat more nutritionally, and should have taken a multi-vitamin to supplement my lack of appetite. If you are fortunate enough to have a loving caregiver, tell that person to help you to remember to eat, to sleep, and not to overdo anything that can be taxing to an already emotionally and physically depleted person.

Ultimately, the initial first few days are the hardest. Simple bodily functions are no longer second nature. After you have been a nurturing caregiver to another living, breathing human being, and that person no longer requires your guidance and care because he or she has left this earth, you are no longer the person you used to be. It’s like having a stroke and you have to learn to walk and talk again, except in this case, you may remember to walk and talk, but you don’t know how to eat, sleep, dream, or love. You may not even remember how to care for yourself or for anyone else. All of these have to be learned again. In essence, you begin to reinvent yourself.

When you start to feel your sanity slip, do whatever positive thing you can think of to hold on: pray, meditate, go get a full body massage at a spa, scream at a starlit sky, take a trip to a new place, stare at sunsets, lay in an open field and watch the clouds drift, or do all of these things at once: Just do something for you! And don’t feel guilty about being selfish about it. You can’t do anything for others if you don’t take care of yourself first. You can’t be loving to others if you aren’t loving to yourself first. Then, when you start to feel a sense of renewal, think about extending the love you still want to express for your child in a way that will benefit others. Believe it or not, there will always be someone else who has experienced greater sadness and loss. My brother in law, Abe, sent me a wonderful book called, Finding Purpose for Your Pain, which conveys this same thought. If you truly understand that we are all connected, you begin to understand that the dynamics of your heartache and how you handle it can be a source of comfort and inspiration for others.

4. Have Faith

The first thing I want to address here is that most of the studies show that parents who have strong faith usually have stronger coping skills because of their willingness to admit that there are higher powers for which we cannot comprehend. Of course, the first thing that I did (but have always done and continue to do) was ASAP: Always Say A Prayer. I was fortunate enough to be raised by wonderful parents who taught us the power of prayer as children, and I have witnessed this power over and over again in my life experiences. Often, it seems easier to pray when you’re heartbroken and downtrodden, and sometimes we forget to pray when things are going well. If you have never been a prayerful person, maybe this is a good time to start. A silly movie comes to mind that had a wonderful quote: “Be the miracle.” It was from the movie, “Bruce Almighty” and though the movie might have been more entertaining than enlightening , it still held an important message for me: We each can be a miracle no matter what situation we may find ourselves in. If we, as parents who have lost our children, can find a way to be the miracle, it will be that we can learn to carry our burden of sadness no matter how heavy laden and weak we are. ASAP: Again, believe it to be true for you and it will be. How will you know if it works if you haven’t tried it?

5. Keep Yourself Busy

Hook or crook, find something to do to keep yourself occupied so that you aren’t so caught up in that cycle of loneliness and despair. I have always been one of those people whose biggest fear is being bored. So, I have umpteen hobbies: writing poetry, reading fiction, reading self-help books, playing guitar or piano, playing computer Scrabble and Boggle, reading magazines, sketching, painting, travel, swimming, and doing various arts and crafts. Initially, I completely lost all interest in doing all of my favorite things: reading, swimming, and writing poetry. Doing my favorite things meant that I knew how to take pleasure out of day to day pastimes. How in the world can you take pleasure out of day to day pastimes when you struggle with having a will to live? So, instead, I forced myself to do things that I regularly didn’t enjoy: I cleaned house, washed windows, kept the fridge spotless. In other words: I stayed busy. One of the main things that demanded my attention was that I still had a wonderful family that needed me: my husband, Thomas, my two teenage daughters, Chloe and Rachel, and my six year old son, Joseph. Knowing that they were taking cues from me in how to cope with our tragedy gave me some strength in getting through the routines of living week to week, and month to month. Probably one of the most positive things that happened was that a friend, Laura, had bought Joseph some children’s books on grief which were so enlightening and helpful. As a small child who had lost a sibling, Joseph really needed me to guide him through the process. As a result, I gained a lot from the books as well.

Try to occupy your own time and mind with something that will make you feel useful. In the first couple of weeks, we planted trees in honor of my son that were actually gifts from good friends. A close friend, Mary, from work bought me some beautiful frames at my request, and I poured over family albums and had some of my favorite pictures of my son enlarged for framing. My brother, Rick, bought me a scrapbook, and I began to clamor through my son’s belongings looking for special memorabilia to save, such as old report cards, Mother’s Day and birthday cards that he had made. My principal, Barbara, from the school where I taught fifth grade, bought me a large 16 by 20 inch frame with fourteen slots in it. Picking out pictures of my son that were especially important for immortalizing into the frame took me a week to finish. When I think about having done all these things in my son’s honor, I know that I was trying to show the world that my son was still alive in me and in my heart, and that I could never use the past tense of the word, “love,” in referring to him.

My love for reading was rekindled when a friend of my husband’s sent me a lovely book of daily devotional readings called, Streams in the Desert, by L.B. Cowman. Every morning, I began with reading scripture, beautiful descriptive poetry and prose on faith and hope, and found that somehow, some way, I was beginning to feel rejuvenated and reassured that God really had a purpose in taking my son from me to live with Him.

Moreover, I began to feel inspired to write poetry again after two months of being a walking zombie. I found that being lonely meant that I had to become my own best friend all over again. The opening verse in Chapter 3 is from a song, “Home to Myself.” That was my personal song to sing whenever I felt lonely as a teenager. I actually began to write poetry at the age of fifteen to combat the loneliness I felt. I figured that I could always talk to myself, if there was no one else to talk to. As a teacher, I have always taught children that writing in a journal, or prose and poetry, is a wonderful way to get in touch with your thoughts, and to organize them. Thus, to combat my loneliness in the second month, I began to write my thoughts down in my journal. When I read my poetry now after a year has passed, it brings back all of the torment and sadness, yet offers a ray of hope to me. I feel like I was lost at sea and somehow swam back to shore. I felt that I was buried in the desert, somehow dug my way out and stumbled across a trickling stream.

6. Keep a Journal

Turn your obsession with your child into something positive and concrete: Keep a journal. This will help to transmute a negative into a positive.

One of the things that people don’t understand is that parents need to continue talking about their child, recounting and reliving every little thing he did or said, good or bad. Many books on grief encourage this type of conversation, so that parents can come to terms with the different relationship that they are beginning to build with the child who is gone. It is a relationship that may not include future joys, but there are so many countless moments of joy in our memories that are precious and priceless, and these need to be preserved for posterity. Talking about them and reminiscing allows us to hold onto these precious memories.

As a poet, I tend to write down my thoughts. Even if writing has never been one of your hobbies, you must realize that what you are experiencing is incredibly unique. Outliving your own child is not the usual course of nature in a person’s lifetime. This kind of grief is by far the most difficult one to cope with and the most painful. As I reminisce now about how I felt a year ago, and the calendar has just turned to September, a year and three months later, I’m shocked at how differently I view the world, my relationship with my husband, with my surviving children, with my sweet, beloved son, Gian, and ultimately with myself. This period has been the hardest to sit down and write about, because this chapter of my life a year ago (2nd trimester of grief) was by the far the hardest chapter for me to live.

Even if you don’t feel that you’re a good writer, it can be so healing for you to keep a journal. The phases of grief can be sporadic and have differing intensities in different circumstances. In the days following my son’s birthday, I constantly referred back to the poem I had written to lift my own spirits. Then, as the Georgia weather began to turn into cool, autumn air, I became restless and upset, because fall had always been my most favorite time of the year. Then I found that I couldn’t face the autumn without my son. I couldn’t face the time passages, the constant memories of autumns passed. I wrote poetry to help me to collect my thoughts, give them a concrete foundation, and to help me to express my sorrow. Eventually, though, I nose-dived into shock, which led to depression, which led to anger, and eventually led to numbness. The important thing to say here is this: I kept writing about what I was experiencing, so I wouldn’t have to hold it all in. I’ve since found journal entries from that time that seethe with anger and blame. The pain jumped right out of the pages and grabbed me by the throat when I recently read them. The acknowledgement of that pain is what actually led me to begin writing this book. The fact that I actually survived through all of that turmoil let me know that I was managing to harness the pain that I was experiencing. As I continue to harness this pain, I know in my heart that I’m on the path to healing. Chronicling the journey has allowed me to assess my own grief work.

7. Seek Out Positive Addictions

Positive activities such as yoga, meditation, or any form of exercise will enable you to regain a sense of centeredness. The yoga helped me to relax and continues to help me to relax, while the meditation helped me to at least not lie awake frantically for three and four hours at a time. Plus, the benefits of stretching, deep breathing and focused physical movements allow for better circulation and relief from stress. Even now, I experience these periods of insomnia, and have used meditation to at least help me to breathe and relax, succumbing to the elusiveness of not sleeping. At least my body is motionless and I open myself up to quiet solitude while experiencing insomnia.

8. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

Give yourself permission to grieve, irregardless of what other people need or expect of you. The best part of that long car trip to Santa Fe alone was that I finally was at liberty to grieve: not as someone’s wife, mother, teacher, daughter, sister or aunt, but simply as a woman in pain, who had lost her child. When I drove away from my life, I suddenly could look at the maelstrom from a different perspective. The nights I spent in lonely hotel rooms was spent crying, writing, and watching mindless TV, without trying to tend to anyone else’s needs. In other words, I wore no hats: no one’s wife, no one’s mother, no one’s teacher, no one’s daughter, no one’s sister or aunt. What I saw through my own tears was not a pretty sight either. I realized that other people can’t fathom your pain, so they’d rather pretend that you’re being melodramatic.

9. Survive One Day at a Time...Again

Anticipating holidays, your birthday, your individual family members’ birthdays, and especially the birthday of your child who has died, can bring up so many bittersweet, painful memories. If you feel that you’re too weak to handle them, know this: the pain you feel is a reflection of the great love you continue to have for your child. A friend of mine, Cathey, passed on this sage advice to me, and I continue to take solace in these words, as I find myself caught unaware and fall to pieces from time to time. “You hurt because you love.” So be at liberty to cry, wail, bitch, and moan. You deserve to feel this way.

10. Give of Yourself and Connect to Others Who Hurt

Do volunteer work, delve into a project in which you comfort others, and/or allow your love for your child to manifest itself in doing positive, creative things that can enrich other peoples’ lives. The best way to cope with sorrow is to console another.

New Resources

We've added some new links to the resource page. Please let us know if you come across a site that should be added or removed. If a link no longer works, let us know so that we may remove it.

Help Change Two Pieces of Legislation

I was shocked when I read this on Mikayla's Grace's page...

"I was appalled to find out that FMLA did not cover leave for the death of a child. I literally was told that the FMLA leave for the birth of a child is "to bond with the child" and "since I didn't have a child to bond with, I did not qualify for this leave." These parents need and deserve time to grieve before being required to go back to work. Please sign this petition and send letters to your representatives to support the addition of "for the death of a son or daughter" to the FMLA bill."

I didn't realize how fortunate I was to have an employer who was so compassionate and willing to give me the time I needed. I went to my 4-month doctor's appointment on July 19th. That is where I learned that my son Nathan had passed. I called my work and arranged for PTO time (personal time off) for the rest of the week. I went into the hospital to be induced the next day. Nathan was born at 2:32am on Thursday, July 21, 2011. I got in touch with our benefits coordinator at work and arranged to take FMLA and use my short term disability insurance during my leave. I was informed later, that she had gone to our new HR manager to request that I be allowed paid bereavement pay. I'm so grateful for that. It allowed me to reclaim several PTO days to have for the rest of the year. My OBGYN wrote me out for the full six weeks of maternity leave. Because it began to feel like the walls were caving in, it was my decision to return to work after four weeks. I returned to work the day after Nathan's one month angelversary on August 22nd. I'm so thankful for that time. Those first 2 weeks were a nightmare. I can't imagine if I'd had to return to work during that time.

I encourage you to take a moment to sign the petition below. No parent should be forced to return to work before they've had a chance to grieve and say goodbye to their child. For more about this petition, click here.


I wanted to take a moment to share, yet another piece of legislation, I knew nothing about. According to North Carolina law, a baby born before 20 weeks is considered a miscarriage. Nathan was 16 weeks; therefore, I was prepared to receive no acknowledgement of his birth. However, I was appalled to learn that stillborn babies aren't recognized either. The following is a message I wanted to share from a friend of mine.

I went through 40 weeks and 2 days of pregnancy with my beautiful little Zion. However, he was born sleeping on March 29, 2011. I went through labor just as if he were breathing that day. I delivered a baby, a life that mattered, but yet that is not what our legislation says. I was not entitled to a birth or death certificate according to North Carolina state laws. What??? I just gave birth to 7lb 9oz, 20 in. long baby with his daddy's chin and long fingers and his sister's pouty lips. He was perfect and definitely a life, a human being. He was a part of me. How can God's creation not matter? I had to give birth to him, give him a proper memorial service. I got a whopping hospital bill and doctor bills but for what? The hospital was not required to give me a birth or death certificate that would acknowledge what we just went through. We have nothing but a box full of trinkets from the hospital, a lock of his precious black hair and a few pictures for when our memories fade. Please help us as we try to change the legislation of this state. Zion's life did matter to so many of us. Please be one to help change the laws, so that North Carolina moms that have to give birth to their sleeping babies, can have some acknowledgment that their baby's life matters. Thanks to our family and friends. We love you and thank you so much for your support throughout the darkest time of our life.

- Jeremy & Crystal S.

Please take a moment to sign the petition below.

2012 Calendar

I received an email this morning from CarlyMarie at the 'Lost for Words' website. My quote was chosen to be included in her 2012 calendar.

My therapist and I were talking and I was trying to explain how I felt. People are telling me to move on, try again, don't become obsessive, etc. I sat for a minute and the quote just came to me. It's the only way I can explain how I feel. Its like I have no choice in the matter. Nathan is embedded into who I am... I can't just "choose" to move on or forget him.

A few days later, I noticed that CarlyMarie and Franchesca were accepting quotes to be considered for their 2012 calendars. I honestly didn't think it would be chosen... I just wanted to share. I'm honored to be a part of this wonderful calendar. My quote is on the September 2012 page.

Click here to view and/or purchase CarlyMarie and Franchesca's calendars or cards.

October 15th

Today is recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Every October 15th, candles are lit in remembrance across the world at 7pm to create an international 'wave of light'.

For the little girls who will never spin around in frilly dresses or take ride's on their daddy's shoulders. For the little boys who will never play in their first tee-ball game or snuggle on the couch with their mama. For the little babies who left us before we even knew their gender or name...

Today, and everyday, we love and miss the YOUs you should have become.

Free Tissues

Kleenex is offering a "get one, send one for free" event. You can request a free sample and send a sample to a friend. It would be great if you could sent your friend offer to 'You are my Child' to include in our memory boxes. Click on this link: https://www.kleenex.com/softnessworthsharing. Let me know if you need the address to send it to us. Please share this with others and encourage them to donate their friend offer to either us or an organization they support.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month. Here is a link to Mikayla's Grace's Facebook page. They have compiled a collection of badges, which were made by different sites, to use as your Facebook or social networking profile picture. Speak out... don't be embarrassed or afraid to share your experience. Together, we can begin to change the perception of this taboo subject.

There are many local memorial walks scheduled. Here is a link to Remembering Our Babies' site. They have compiled a list of walks in each state/country. They have three walks listed for North Carolina. However, they don't have two local walks listed. Here is the link to those two walks:

Heartstrings Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support - 7th Annual A Walk to Remember
Randolph Hospital Maternity Services

With statistics like these, it baffles my mind why the death of a baby is still a taboo subject for so many:

Pregnancy: There are approximately 6 million pregnancies every year throughout the United States:

• 4,058,000 live births
• 1,995,840 pregnancy losses

Pregnancy Loss: Every year in the United States there are approximately 2 million women who experience pregnancy loss.

• 600,000 women experience pregnancy loss through miscarriage
• 1,200,000 women experience pregnancy loss through termination
• 64,000 women experience pregnancy loss through ectopic pregnancy
• 6,000 women experience pregnancy loss through molar pregnancies
• 26,000 women experience pregnancy loss through stillbirth

Pregnancy Complications: Every year in the United States...

• 875,000 woman experience one or more pregnancy complications
• 458,952 babies are born to mothers without adequate prenatal care
• 467,201 babies are born prematurely
• 307,030 babies are born with Low Birth Weight
• 154,051 children are born with Birth Defects
• 27,864 infants die before their first birthday

(Statistics from americanpregnancy.org)

In memory of all of our angels...

New Look

Notice anything different? Many thanks to Fran at Small Bird Studios for the beautiful new blog design!! If you are looking for a new blog or WordPress design... check her out. She is a wonderful designer. She was extremely patient and understanding throughout our entire design process. She was always quick to get back with me when I had a change or concern. She is in the process of designing our logo now and I can't wait to see the end result. ★★★★★

Stillbirth Remembrance Day

September 6th is Stillbirth Remembrance Day. Stillbirths tragically strike 1 out of every 115 pregnancies. In the USA, 26,000 babies are stillborn every year. That's approximately 71 precious babies every single day. Remembering all the babies lost to stillbirth today and everyday.

Facebook

We're now on Facebook! There isn't much there yet... but stay turned for the updates as we get closer to our goal: Our 1st donation drop-off. There is a link to your left.

Congratulations on a Rainbow

Congratulations to Rhiannon and her family! Their angel, Harper has become a big sister. They welcomed their rainbow baby, Norah into their lives on August 28th.

New Donations

Thank you so much to Compassionate Passages for donating five copies of the book, 'Empty Cradle, Broken Heart'. We also received two items off our Amazon.com wish list: a Bugaboo necklace and a card from the Lost for Words Collection yesterday. There wasn't any information, as to who donated them. I sent out an email and posted on Facebook to see if anyone knows. In case, they don't come forward or I don't find out... thank you to whoever donated them!! *** UPDATE: I found out... thank you to the Lucas Family. *** I've updated the supply list to include these new items. I'm going to sit down tomorrow or Monday and make a list of what items to order with the monetary donations that have been received so far.

I stopped in and eyeballed "my" sewing machine today. ;-) I'm so excited about getting it. I can't wait to learn how to sew and start making the blankets and pouches. I just want that feeling of being able to make a difference with something made by me, something personal. Knowing that these blankets and pouches are the only item these babies will ever wear/touch... it just reminds me of why this project is so important. The few precious moments, these parents will spend holding their baby, are all they will get in this lifetime. I'm nowhere near close to beginning to understand His plan but I'm honored to give this glory to Him. As much as I would love to have Nathan here with me, I'm beaming with pride at the fact that God is allowing his precious little life to impact so many other people.

So much support!

I started back to work this week, so it's been kinda crazy. I want to thank everyone for their support, love and donations. It means so much to have so many wonderful people support a project so close to my heart. I'm currently working with Small Bird Studios on a blog design, to give the site a more organized look. I've gotten in touch with the publishing company and have worked out the terms to order the support books. I have also made contact with the maternity floor supervisor at my local hospital. We are trying to schedule a time to meet, that works for both of us, to figure out all the details for the donations. I will keep everyone updated on all that.

Donations

My heart literally stopped beating for a few seconds when I opened the mail today. Jackie, thank you just isn't enough but I don't have the words to express my gratitude. She and her daughter made a donation in memory of her late husband, Jason and her son, Hunter.

Mommy and Me Consignments sent an email this morning, telling me that they had some fabric for us. Look at that gorgeous minky fabric?!?! I can't wait to see how many micro-blankets we can make with all of this! Thank you, Mommy and Me!

Thank You, Mommy and Me Consignments

I stopped into Mommy and Me Consignments today. I was looking at their blankets and changing covers. I stopped and talked with the owner and told her what I was looking for and why. She is going to help us with fabric, by donating the remnant pieces they have left over after finishing their craft projects. We got our first piece of fabric today from them... a soft, beautiful pink colored blanket. I can't wait to see how many micro-blankets we can get out of it. Again, many thanks to Mommy and Me Consignments!

Michael's BOGO Boxes

I just got an email from a friend. Apparently, Michael's is having a special insider sale. She forwarded me the email and they're having a Buy 1, Get 1 for a Penny sale on the photo storage boxes!! If you missed out on the last sale, here's another chance! I don't see where it asks for a coupon... so I don't know if you just mention it at checkout or if you print the page below from the site and take it with you. (Here's the link.)

Waiting for a Rainbow

How beautiful is this? I just had to share with all the moms out there who are waiting for their rainbow baby. It is a limited edition custom sculpture being offered at TheMidnightOrange on Etsy.

For those who don't know what a rainbow is...

"The term Rainbow Baby is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."

CVS Sale - Disposable Cameras

When I stopped at CVS this afternoon, I noticed they are having a Buy 1, Get 1 Free sale on their CVS brand power flash disposable cameras. I picked up 4 and only paid for 2!! If you're able, pick up a couple extra ones for donation.

New Supplies

Thanks to a couple donations, we were able to stock up on some supplies with the Michael's sale and coupon yesterday. We got 7 more empty boxes, candles, journals, tissues and note cards. I've got some cards ordered from Carly Marie and Franchesca's Lost for Words: The Card Line. I'm also going to order 20 of the feet pins.

Awesome Storage Box Sale

Our local Michael's store (Greensboro, NC) is having a 40% off scrapbook sale, which includes the photo storage boxes!! (Go online and check your local store's weekly flier.) Print the coupon below - good for today ONLY between 4-8pm - and get an additional 25% off!!! It would be awesome if we could get some extra boxes donated! If you live near me... I'll see you there! :-) Thank you, Hip2Save!

http://hip2save.com/2011/08/michaels-save-25-off-your-entire-purchase-814-only.html

Thank You

I'm overwhelmed by the love, prayers and support of Nathan's project since making the blog public last night. Thank you so much to everyone!! It warms my heart to think of the families that will be helped and comforted... all because of Nathan.

Measuring Tapes

I just ordered 40 measuring tapes for less than $25! It's exciting to finally start getting stuff ordered for the boxes.

Thoughts inspired by the mailbox

The mailbox was friendly today. I got a book from Stephanie at The Sweet Pea Project. It was such a good book and I definitely want to include copies in the memory boxes. If you would like to purchase a copy or two, we'd love to have some copies donated. ;-) And of course, if you're able... support their project as well. http://www.sweetpeaproject.org

I also received the teddy bears today! (I was surprised at the amazingly, fast shipping!) Again, thanks goes out to the Williamson family. These bears are the first items purchased, using a gift card from their family. These bears will be added to the memory boxes in memory of their angel, Patrick. It amazed me, holding one, to realize that Nathan was a little bigger than about twice the size of it. He was 6 1/2" long and the bear pictured is 3" long. Thank you, Kelly! Even though Nathan never touched the bear... it brought me some comfort today when I held it. It was nice just to have something physical to remind me of him... something that I could relate to, as far as his tiny size. It warms my heart to think of the other moms who will, hopefully, gain some comfort from them also.

How amazing is God... to create something so tiny and beautiful? Just shy of 17 weeks, he already had fingernails and toenails and all of his features were already formed and in place. He was such a tiny, angel. It just takes my breath away to think about the sheer miracle of his existence. 17 weeks wasn't nearly long enough... but I was BLESSED to have him for those 17 weeks. I'm a lucky mama because I had him with me and he felt my love and warmth during his entire life. (Thank you, Stephanie for your words and helping me to feel better about my own thoughts and feelings. Even though you had your angel 24 weeks longer than I had mine, I could relate to a lot of what you wrote.)

 

 

Sale on Storage Boxes

If you have some extra cash and get a chance to run into Hobby Lobby... pick up a couple photo storage boxes for us! They have them on sale until Saturday for less than $3.00 a box. These are a perfect size for the memory boxes.

First Order

I ordered the first donation items today! Thanks to the Williamson family, I was able to purchase 24 mini teddy bears. I ordered 12 of the 2 1/2" bears and 12 of the 3" bears. They will be added to the memory boxes in loving memory of their baby boy, Patrick.

wwww.factorydirectcraft.com - 3" Teddy Bears