Poetry, Books & Music


Variety - Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

1) Grief is natural, even though it doesn't feel like it.
2) Grief is not depression, even though it puts you in the deepest sadness.
3) Grief cannot be hurried, even if others say it is time to 'move on'.
4) Grief is not linear; sometimes it feels like a quiet, cloudy day,
the next a battering hurricane and back again.
5) Grief is sneaky, be prepared to be surprised by it.
6) Grief is necessary; even though it is our instinct to avoid pain, allow it.

"Grief does not follow a time schedule. It does not punch in a time clock for noting its beginning or ending. Neither does it have respect for our agenda. It comes and goes as it pleases and does not ask permission for its unexpected arrival or departure. It does not provide clues as to when it will visit or how long it plans to stay as our uninvited guest. Grief is rude and intrusive and brings its luggage of pain and sorrow, misery and despair. Grief is a teaser for just when we think we have survived its malicious assault; it sneaks upon us once again. It is unrelenting in its pursuit."
by RevLady


Books to Read

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Deborah Davis



Variety - Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope



I've lost a child I hear myself say.
And the person I'm talking to
Just turns away.
Now why did I tell them?
I don't understand...
It wasn't for sympathy or to get a helping hand.
I just want them to know I've lost something dear
I want them to know my child was here.
He left something behind that nobody can see
So if I upset you, I'm sorry as can be.
You'll have to forgive me, I could not resist
I just wanted you to know that my child did exist.

Author Unknown

Don't Cry

I have not turned my back on you, so there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from Heaven, just beyond the morning sky.
I've seen you almost fall apart, when you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you and watched her take your hand.
She told me you are in more pain than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard, then gave your hand to me.
Although you may not feel my touch or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you, while I wiped each tear you cried.
So please try not to ache for me, we'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky, a rainbow lights the way.

Author Unknown

Our Angels

Our angels never cried, so we cry for them.
Our angels never got to live, so we must live for them.
Our angels never got to smile, so we need to smile for them.
Live life to the fullest and be happy, because each day that you go on is part of YOUR story.
You were never able to read fairytales to your angels and tuck them in,
so when you finally meet them, tell them YOUR story instead.
Make it a happy one, not one full of pain and suffering over their loss.
Give them a happy ending, after a long story full of adventures and love.
They will be forever thankful for all you have gone through and will go through for them.

Brittney Panzone, Teen Parents of Angels

A Mother's Prayer/Affirmation After Miscarriage

In this time of loss I call upon my spirit within to guide me
to my strength so that I may find peace and completion.
I will use this strength to demand of myself and others my need to grieve completely,
for this will be my first step to healing.
During my time of grief I will seek guidance not only from my inner spirit
but from loving persons who may offer wisdom and comfort.
I need to understand that the soul as well as the physical body needs healing and to pay attention to this.
I will learn to accept that the soul may never heal completely.
I will learn to live not in fear and once again see beauty in my world and purpose in my existence.
In spite of my new knowledge that things happen that cannot be controlled,
I must call upon the places within me that tell me I do have control
over much of my life and use this control to aid my healing.
Let me recognize the gift in my ability to conceive and carry life however briefly.
Let me take joy in my ability to love so deeply and desire to nurture a soul unbeknownst to me.
Let me find healing in the belief that this soul knew my love for it
and that that love helped it to pass to another place.
Let me honor this short life not only with my love but in finding meaning in its existence.
Let me recognize this meaning in not only my ability to survive,
but in my fullest appreciation of all the moments motherhood will bring me,
along with my deeper compassion and sisterhood to other women who've experienced loss.
Let a part of this soul be reflected in the spirit of my future children,
born or adopted, so that I may know it through them.
I will listen to and trust the place in my deepest heart that tells me I will
once again be reunited with this soul and will fulfill the need to hold it in my arms.
I will help myself to feel comfort in the knowledge that there is a star in heaven that belongs to me.

by Stacey Dinner-Levin

Dearest Mommy

When you wonder the meaning of life and love
Know that I am with you
Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
In the gentle breeze across your cheek
When you begin to doubt that you shall ever see me again
Quiet your mind and hear me
I am in the whisper of the heavens
Speaking of your love
When you lose your identity
When you question who you are
Where you are going
Open your heart and see me
I am the twinkle in the stars
Smiling down upon you
Lighting the path for your journey
When you awaken each morning
Not remembering your dreams
But feeling content and serene
Know that I was with you
Filling your night with thoughts of me
When you linger in the remnant pain
Wholeness seeming so unfamiliar
Think of me and know that I am with you
Touching you through the shared tears of a gentle friend
Easing the pain
As the sunrise illuminates the desert sky
In that breathtaking glory, awaken your spirit
Think of our time together, all too brief, but ever brilliant
When you were certain of your destiny
Know that God created that moment in time, just for us.
Dearest Mommy, I am with you always

By Joanne Cacciatore (c) 1997 from the book "Dear Cheyenne"
In memory of Cheyenne

A Different Child

People notice
There's a special glow around you.
You grow Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother's eyes.

And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.

You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in her hopes and dreams.

That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When a mother miss so much
That different child.

May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.

One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.

When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again.

by Pandora MacMillian


"The Elephant in the Room"

There's and elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting,
so it is hard to get around.

Yet we squeeze by with,
“How are you?” and, “I’m fine,”
And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather,
We talk about work:
We talk about everything else-
Except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant
As we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about
The elephant in the room.

Oh, please, say my child’s name.
Oh, please, say her name again.
Oh, please, let’s talk about
The elephant in the room.

For if we talk about my child’s death,
Perhaps we can talk about her life.
Can I say my child’s name to you
And not have you look away?
For if I cannot,
Then you are leaving me alone
In a room – with an elephant.

by Terry Kettering


"You are Real"

Today I will not touch your tiny hands
or kiss you tenderly as you lay upon my chest.
But let there be no mistake, little one.
You see, I have been blessed.
I may not know what you would have been,
but I know what you are.
I feel you in every gust of wind, see your smile across the stars.
Thanks to you, I know a mother's love, a love that never dies.
I only wish that our hellos hadn't been the same as our goodbyes.
And as the days grow longer now, like nature, I try my best.
To grow and change and live again,
and I guess you know the rest.
You know I love you more than words could ever hope to say.
I'll love you until forever comes, and then add one extra day.
You'll always be my baby. You'll always be my child.
You'll always be a dragonfly flying free and wild.
The world will never know you, or understand how I feel.

But I know.
You were here.
You are here.
You are real.


“You can shed tears that she is gone,  or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, 
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,  be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
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