Let Me Tell You Who I Am

So powerfully written...

"I have three kids, not two. My first son died. There, I said it. I know you may not want to hear it. Neither do I, yet I have to say it over and over and over again to slowly wrap my mind around the incomprehensible truth. My son is dead.

It might make you uncomfortable for a moment, yet I am uncomfortable for a lifetime. Either I pretend he never existed, for your comfort, or, to my own discomfort, this new life of mine comes with dreaded and sometimes hostile reactions; blank stares, awkward silences, big eyes bugging out of shocked faces; or worse, looks of despair, pity, shame, judgment; even, turning of backs, that walk away, leaving me in mid-sentence of my pain. Or, worst of all, altogether ceasing to be my friend, upon discovering that, I am a bereaved mother.

Let me tell you how it feels to have my son deleted, his existence denied because it makes people uncomfortable to hear he lived and he died.

I am a bereaved mother, a grieving quasi-supermom; I straddle time and space. You might feel pulled in two directions, but let me tell you how it feels to be pulled between heaven and earth, as a mother to an angel and a mother to two living, breathing, laughing little boys. A mother to the living and the dead."

- Angela Miller

To read the entire article, over at Still Standing Magazine, click here.

The Proof of Their Existence

I thought this was beautifully written...

"I will not let anyone define my son or my grief for me. I don’t care if people think that I should get over him and I don’t care if people think I do not grieve for him hard enough because I am happy. Whatever people think of me is none of my business, nor is it my issue. I live a beautiful life, sure, it’s not perfect, in fact in some areas it’s quite broken, messy and disorganized, but it is beautiful. I honour the life of my son by living my own life in the best way that I can and in truth, living this life in an incredible honour and so I live it to the fullest with him, right there in my heart." - CarlyMarie

To read the entire article at Still Standing Magazine, click on this link: http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/07/the-glow-the-proof-of-their-existence/

Why You Didn't Fail As A Mother

Shared via Still Standing Magazine: "I see you walking this path of life you’ve been given where every breath and step apart from your child is a physical, emotional and spiritual battleground— a fight for your own survival— a fight to quiet the insidious lies. But the truth is – you haven’t failed at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. You are the mother of all mothers. Truly the most inspiring, courageous, loving mother there is – a warrior mama through and through. For even in their death you lovingly mother them still." ♥

http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/06/why-you-didnt-fail-as-a-mother/

Explaining Cremation to Young Children

Wow... I wish I had had this article the first time Cameron ever asked about where Nathan's body is. So far, I've managed to steer the conversation away and on to other things. (He asked again the other week, when we went to visit his PawPaw's grave.) It might be wrong and make me a "chicken" but I've never known how to explain it to him without scaring him. If any of my baby loss friends are going through the same thing... read this article. Now, I have an answer that I'm comfortable with the next Cameron asks.

http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/06/explaining-cremation-to-young-children/

Father's Day

Shared via Still Standing Magazine: A beautiful article from Sean Hanish, the Director and Writer of Return to Zero. http://reconceivingloss.com/essay-for-men/


Shared via CarlyMarie: Here is The Still Project Father's Day Google Hangout video. What an amazing hour! Thank you to all the brave men who spoke so honestly about what it is like to be a bereaved dad on Father's Day. Many thanks to Carrie and JP for making this special event a reality.




To all the Dads out there, especially those of you who are dreading Father's Day this weekend, we send you all our love and peace.

Mother's Day

Whether you hold your child in your arms or in your heart, I'm wishing you a Happy Mother's Day. For those who are struggling with infertility, I remember those days as well. I'm thinking of you and praying that your arms are filled soon.

This month over at Still Standing Magazine, CarlyMarie wrote about how broken Mother's Day is and how she believes we can heal the day by using our voices in a peaceful, loving and meaningful way. To read the full artical click on this link, http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/04/healing-mothers-day/. This article is in honor of you. You can find more information at International Bereaved Mother's Day.